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Exact Words

Some time after the vasectomy
my friend mentioned
she might be pregnant.

Then her husband Dave
called to say
she was in bed with a tumour
the size of a baseball.
I could hear the World Series
playing in the background.
He passed the phone over
to her. It's true, she said
—as big as a cantaloupe.
She certainly knew
her tropical fruits.

Dave phoned again
after the operation.
Benign, the surgeon reckons.
And the size and shape
of a baby's head.
Talk about a close shave.
Those were his exact words.