Five weeks + three

I am allowed to go swimming every day. The water is warm and my body seems to take to it as if I have never been away. I am allowed to touch my foot to the ground of the pool but not put weight on it.

My mother has ordered me a massage. My friend Marie arrives, closes the curtain, lights the incense, plays the soft music and eases circulation back into my muscles and skin. When she leaves I feel connected again and my body just wants to shake.

Paul is buried today.