Day three

They are in the middle of the wash. I am naked, lying on my side. There is a knock on the door. It's my surgeon and his entourage. He hesitates until the nurse says, come in, you've seen it all before. They come in, up round the bed. I pull the sheet up under my chin, but the back half of me is there. The huge leg with a drain coming out.

How are you? says the surgeon.

I'm feeling frantic. Frantic about how I'll get through the next four weeks.

He looks upset. But it's only day three. He looks at the charge nurse: Can we set her up so she can do some work in here? He sees the jack points behind the bed. Get a computer connection… can we?

I have no mind for working. But the charge nurse hasn't ruled it out. The doctor charts a sleeping pill, and a nightly injection to prevent blood clots.