Ingredients for a Flat Lawn

Source thirty cubic metres of earth, two rakes, a sprinkler,
sturdy wheelbarrows and as many pecs as you can muster.

Buy 500 grams of superphosphate and two-and-a-bit packets
of grass seed, a hose and one kilo of sulphate of ammonia.

Hire a mother of a rotary-hoe (we're talking a quarter tonne)
and barrow four cubic metres of topsoil on to the site.

Fashion a lawn-roller from the 300 millimetre diameter post
you've stashed under the house with the other off-cuts.

Then hope for even seed distribution and clement weather
and that the hose will stretch all the way to your next big idea.