Title: Needs Work

Author: James Brown

In: Sport 40: 2012

Publication details: Fergus Barrowman, 2014, Wellington

Part of: Sport

Keywords: Verse Literature

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Sport 40: 2012

Needs Work

page 338

Needs Work

You decide to start again. This time, you listen to your parents.
No, you don’t. You walk into the forest.
This way. Between these trees.
You like to watch people unobserved.
You like to think about nothing. The space it requires.
The time. You drift along the lines.
When you read, whose voice do you hear?
That sadness you sometimes feel. There? Not there?
Have you ever held on too long? Hold on.
What was your grandmother’s maiden name?
You’ll have to go back. Between those trees.
You’ll have to go on. A reassuring sign.
Here come the margins. Softly. Firmly.
Percentage. Leakage. A nice little earner.
The customary world. According to custom.
People in space and time. The illusion of choice.
The tyranny of choice. Partial information.
Uncertainty. A strain of influences.
Decisions based on networks, hunches, haunches.
Emotions made flesh. Shuddering details.
Good feelings. Bad ideas.
Everything is manipulative.
Soft crotchets. Silence. Actual size.
And always the Big Generals.
Mr Unknown. Mrs Unknowable.
Ms Impossible Spirit. Miss Understanding.
You like a good joke. Does that count?
What about Stan and the Cellphone?
The curve ball? The double curve ball?
Questions. Answers.
Sometimes the answers just come down the phone.
Forget love. You cannot replace it.
Follow love. It will consume your life.
Accept your lot. Don’t accept your lot.
page 339 Don’t join the army. Don’t romanticise manual work.
Get a grip. Regain the initiative.
You regain the initiative. But lose focus.
Broad brushstrokes. Depth of field. Negative space.
Nothing you can put your finger on.
You keep on. You could never let things go.
Love’s metaphors. Metaphor’s warm auditorium.
You slip in at the back. You like to watch people unobserved.
The unwritten rules. Indoor/outdoor flow.
Tongue and groove. Tongue in cheek.
A rustic little charmer. Your own patch of paradise.
Needs work. Needs new shoes. New friends.
Both oars in the water. Haha hoho.
Needs to let go. Start over.
Fresh ideas. A breath of fresh air.
No more apologies. No more nos.
Sorry. You’re fresh out of luck.
Missed boats. Loose cannons. The hospital tuck.
Ships that pass in the night.
Darkness. Light.
A flock of seagulls. A flight of steps.
Streamed consciousness. Abandoned sex.
The edge of a crossing. Stillness.
Fullness. Imagination’s flossing.
The unlevel spirit. Bless it. Blast it.
Groups and their creations.
Gods. Religions. Abstractions. Equations.
Particles and waves. Both right and wrong.
An hesitation. Don’t worry.
You’re the sharpest knife in the poem.
You keep it together. You stay on song.
Occasional weather. A red umbrella.
Things so much depends upon. Smiling.
Passing by woods on a snowy evening.
Desire’s clarity. A clearing.
Hairs on tan lines. Lines in the sand.
Boundaries as possibilities. A study.
page 340 Listen to your heart. Listen to your body.
Baby steps. Sibilance. Minor dings.
The inevitable compromise.
Time flies. Time drags. Time slips.
Time sings.
And then it is time.
Windows. Curtains.