Retrospeculation.

Happiness has never had head-lines in History because Horror has news-value in the Book of Dismal Dates and Dirty Deeds. Let's ramble in retrospeculation.

History seems to have started with trouble in the garden suburbs, and until Adam and Eve were evicted for listening to snake stories relayed from 2 What-O by I Sez You there was nothing much to record except perhaps signs of bol-weevil in the banana crop and extreme depression in the clothing trade. In fact, before Adam and Eve shouldered the white man's burden, they never worried about such subjects as history or arithmetic, and it is doubtful if they realised how many apples make one—until they took the count. Thus they started History with the sweat of their browse, and it has been a sweated industry ever since.