The Provocative Parrot.

Broadly speaking—as he usually is— the provocative parrot is not a dumb animal. There are times when owners have wished that he were. The chief use of a parrot is to restrain dad from expressing his feelings in a natural manner when he drops the boot-last on his thumb. For parrots are delightfully imitative and love nothing better than regaling visiting vicars and rich aunts with fruity tit-bits garnered from dad's repertoire of vocal gems. Before purchasing a parrot it is always wise to examine its chest for tattood anchors; for a tattood anchor means that the bird is steeped in the traditions of the mercantile marine and is liable to come un-steeped and tell the world, just when the rich aunt looks like coming across with the “mazuma.” Many a parrot thus has put the acid on the gold brick of Fortune by speaking out of his turn.