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Typo: A Monthly Newspaper and Literary Review, Volume 5
[miscellaneous paragraphs]
It is not generally known (a contemporary says), that the late Charles Bradlaugh was an accomplished linguist. He read Latin, Greek, and Hebrew, and could speak French and Italian fluently.
The humors of the census are coming in. One gentleman described his better-half as « a domesticated wife »; another's abode was « a wooden house with a tin top »; and a married couple, to all appearance young, recorded their ages respectively as 302 and 301.
« Atticus » writes, in the Melbourne Leader: A friend from a remote part of the Colony tells me that a newspaper proprietor of my acquaintance and his editor quarrelled recently, and that so seriously that they parted. The matter in dispute was which of them should speak for the press at a wedding. The funny part of it is that each man was intent not on shirking the oration, but on delivering it. I have heard of bishops fighting as to who should pray at the opening of an exhibition, of civic magnates falling foul of each other anent the reading of an address to royalty or even vice-royalty; but two journalists eager to rhapsodise at a wedding breakfast passes my comprehension. The world is full of Lilliputians, and of a truth their vanities are as petty as they themselves. ؟Is a passíon for blatherskiting to be one of our peculiarities?
In the libel case against the editor of the Opotiki Herald, William M. D. Howes gave evidence as follows: In 1890 he resided at Opotiki and in October he was employed by Mr Bates, proprietor of the Herald. He had been in his employment eight or nine months, and used to write for the paper and set up type. Beceived no wages; but received board and lodging. Of the paper produced in court witness set up a considerable portion, including the leading article, by the instructions of Mr Bates and from his manuscript. After it was set up, a proof was shown to Mr Bates, who made some corrections. About a hundred and fifty, at the most, of that issue were printed. Mr Bates had two other businesses besides that of newspaper proprietor; he was a brewer and commission agent. Witness continued to live with Mr Bates until about a week after the first prosecution came on for hearing. Left on account of some conversation as to whether Bates or witness wrote the article; said Bates had written it. Bates replied to the effect that it did not matter between themselves— ؟could not witness give evidence to the effect that he had written it? Expressed surprise, and asked Bates if he wanted him to commit perjury. Bates suggested that it might be put in such a way as not to look so bad against him. Witness told him he had done with him, and left his employment.
Some hard things have been said in the press about that publication « Hansard » —a book got up in newspaper style; but more costly to produce than the finest art or literary publication of its size in the world. To look over its pages is enough to convince anyone that very few members of Parliament regard themselves as business men assembled to do business. Opening the last number—and most costly of all—this is the first thing we find: « He forms one of a body, I believe, of two, or ؟Is it five? gentlemen, who are just now going shares in Elijah's mantle. I refer to the mantle of the political Elijah whom we have recently seen rushing up to the political heaven above in a six-horse chariot driven by himself. The hon. gentleman is I believe one of the quintette, if I may so term it. I think that is not a bad term; it is suggestive of music, concord, and general harmony.… There is the hon. member for Waikato, who, no doubt, plays the first fiddle.… [thirty lines].… and ؟can any display of Conservative music be considered complete without the magnificent strains of our old friend the fog-horn? » And two columns more in the same style. Such trash would not gain a hearing at any public meeting, it would be refused insertion in any decent newspaper; but a long-suffering country pays about £2 a minute for the privilege of having it rehearsed in Parliament, and printed in our national records. The perpetrator of this utterly imbecile twaddle—we will not name him—is not one of the rank and file of the members. In the same speech, referring to his maiden effort, three years before, he said, « I was very young then, and uncommonly ignorant. » He is not very much older now; and judging by his speeches, he will require a little more braying in the mortar of public life before his juvenile folly departs from him.