Owing to the difficulty students encounter in ascertaining the exact scope and true tenor of the library rules (the same having existence merely in that mystery of mysteries—the mind of the Librarian), we have looked carefully into the matter, and have come to the conclusion that the following are the principal regulations:—

1.	No person shall sing, cry, weep, shout, groan, hoot, cheer, smile, laugh or throw books or other missiles in or about the Library, or otherwise give demonstration of any sensation or emotion.
2.	No person shall embrace or otherwise show extreme affection towards the Librarian.
3.	No person shall assault, slander or libel the Librarian, even though the same be a moral duty.
4.	No person shall look at or upon the Librarian, (N. B.—This rule complies strictly with the requirements that all rules shall be for the benefit of those using the Library).
5.	That no head gear be worn in the Library.
6.	No person shall use the Librarian's pen.

We cannot but agree that these rules do seem fairly comprehensive, but the following additions would probably be an improvement:—

1.	That for the purpose of the Library the Librarian be deemed to be a book.
2.	That such book be placed wih all due ceremony on a top shelf.
3.	That no person shall remove such look or otherwise touch or interfere with it.
4.	That students be prohibited from gathering for the purpose of making demonstration on the appropriateness of such setting of the said book.