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Chapter Four
'Momi Meteor' And Songs of Fiji

Momi days were not allowed to pass unrecorded for the Momi Meteor published in lighter vein those happy and less happy moments in Quality Gully, on Signal Hill, in Wogs Valley, in The Crematorium, or Frying Pan Flat. Here is the news sheet's mast-heard. 'The Momi Meteor (With which is incorporated the Lords Lane Gazette, The Momi Moaner and the Wogs Valley Weekly). Registered at the GPO, Thuvu, as an illegal publication.' During its lifetime of 155 consecutive issues, it had three editors. Its first editor and founder was Second Lieutenant W. E. Crawford, and on his transfer to brigade, Sergeant L. T. McMillan edited the sheet, while for the final three months of its life, Lieutenant L. Adams occupied the editorial chair. It gently lampooned the officers, and none was inviolate; it scorned the bureaucrats of Quality Gully (and also the law of libel), and granted its contributors a good deal of poetic license. It maintained an enviable reputation for accuracy, and for days refused to print a report that Major Tad Morpeth had actually given away four sheets of corrugated iron. The paper's delivery was always awaited with eagerness in the company areas, and its publication over such a long period reflects credit on its editors and contributors.

Among contributors who will be remembered are 'Deejay', 'Ale' and 'Algy'. This was 'Observer's' contribution on 'Rank in the Army'.

Promotions:

Guide, new recruits, for the use of.

Advertisements were accepted and this one recalls the battalion's real estate building programme.

Bula & Sons Unlimited (Managing Director H. M. Kirk).

Now is the time to build that Bure.
Tell our man to drive round To Day.

Let him explain our terms himself so that you can make an early start.

Limited number of catalogues still available. Stocks of reed, donga, and bamboo.

Our Motto:

Nothing to Pay—Do It Yourself the Bula Way.

The roving reporter of the Meteor, after a little snooping, turned in an account of a scene down at B company commander's tent.

Officer Commanding (hot under the collar): 'Where the h— are my boots? I'll bet Charlie Werry has taken them with him to Hawke's Bay.'

Company quartermaster-sergeant (soothingly): 'These are your boots here sir.'

OC (still irate): 'Damn it, no! He's taken them I tell you.'

CQMS (as to naughty child): 'But these ARE yours sir. Try them on.'

OC (still fuming but trying them on): 'By cripes you're right. I didn't recognise them—the b—things have been cleaned!'

Famous phrases were recorded as special features in some of the issues. The first in the series relates how after a particularly wordy session on the phone with the colonel, the transport officer totters out of the tent, distraught and shaken and says—'Do I look like toilet paper—I've just been torn up for some.'

Inspired by that pathetic and forlorn cry, 'Whenna we goin' page 32'ome?' 'Pensioner' contributed this report to the Meteor.

Extract from the Auckland Daily Wail, 17 November, 1968.

'Today witnessed the return home from overseas service of the last of the 2nd NZEF. Looking remarkably fit and well in spite of their extreme age, the now famous 30th Battalion returned from Fiji where they have been stationed since 1940. Touching scenes occurred at the wharf where the proud young fathers of 27 years ago were introduced to their grandchildren. After family greetings were over the men were led by their colonel, whose white locks shone in the sunlight, up Queen Street to the tune of 'It makes no difference now". At the Town Hall they were accorded a civic welcome and each man drew his allotment—£2,500. These men were so well wired in, in Fiji, that it was only with difficulty that they got out. The word "withdrawal" had been deleted from local vocabularies. It was only when he was informed that fat lambs were £2 a head and wool 3/-a pound back in Hawke's Bay, that the colonel had the word "withdrawal" reinstated.'

Many will associate with Momi songs and ballads, the strains of which, especially on beer nights, drifted from one hill encampment to another. This is one which everybody will remember—

'For the Duration' (to the tune of 'South of the Border').

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A song which every soldier in Fiji came to know was 'Isa lei' and here it is with its Fijian words and English translation.

There were not the facilities for sport at Momi that all would have liked, but nevertheless some very keen and enjoyable rugby was played on the recreation ground near Cemetery Hill. Inter-platoon and inter-company games were played, which created good natured rivalry and an endless topic for talk over a bottle of Green Label. A battalion team played and defeated brigaded units by II points to 6. A game was also played against the 37th Battalion which the 30th won by 12 points to 8. A team representing the western side of the island included the following members from the 30th Battalion:— Allen, Bellis, Brady, Dalton, Graham, Randall and Strachan. Two games were played against teams from the eastern side of the island, both of which were won by 'Easts', the first at Suva by 11 points to 9 and the return match at Namaka by 13 points to 5. Hockey was also played within the battalion and a team went to Ma to play an Indian side.